Sehnsucht

tear the petals off of you....So today is my last day of being a child. I feel that I should have gone to the park or got out my old teddy bears, maybe watched some disney. It was come-as-a-childhood-literary-character day at school, all the little girls dressed as faeries, puss in books, witches and a couple of brilliant cat-in-the-cats. made my day. I feel that I am ready to grow up now, I've made my peace. seriously, I don't feel any hate or anger towards anyone (maybe with the exception of hitler but he never said sorry to me so I don't see why i should forgive him), I feel more in control of everything, ready to go forward. I've got a path and ambitions, I feel like I'm going somehwere. like a pheonix, rising out of the ashes!Today was so beautiful, i sat at the bus stop and watched the wind rain down pink petals, floating like snow, gathering in piles like a wedding day. it was warm and sunny but not enough for me to worry about getting burnt. I was going over to meet my grandmother's neighbour. She's a psycho-physiologist. We went for a walk with her little daughter and she told me about her career and qualifications. It involves things like sleep, stress, nutrition, she gives seminars and helps people out, advice on getting the most out of life, energy etc.She was very helpful, and she said I'd make a good psychologist because I'm a good listener. whta lovely thing to say. I met her cute little daughter too. Went to see my grandmother afterwards. She was also very nice, thoguh I find it owrrying how old and frail she seems to look now. She's recently got asthma. She asked me how I was feeling and I said i felt much better. she asked if I'd put on any weight, which i think wsn't very tactful on her part. i like to think that she said it because it wasn't that obvious. Her neighbour said i was very slim, which was nice. i think I'm getting more perspective today. yesterday I felt sure that I wa morbidly obese. But today...well, i'm not as thin as I once was but I'm probably quite similar to other people. I think i am getting my period (sorry to gross anyone out). this is kinda significant, i haven't had one for a year and feel quite ambivalent with it. i guess when i get it that will be the point when I cease to be 'anorexic'. If there is any fairness I will not get my period back on my birthday. that's just not fair. It's passover tomorrow, we're burning the chamez(levened food eg bread) in a little bonfire. I went out to get the bitter herbs and the shank bone today. they wouldn't sell me just the bone, I had the pay to have the meat too. how silly. Got my brother a dragon fruit. forgetting all my beliefs about how its killing the planet to fly exotic fruit across the globe, it really reminds me of our trip to singapore. it looks so pretty. My pumpkin plant has grown leaves over the ground. yippee!I got my brother a donkey mask from the school costume cupboard. he's gonna be bottom and I'm gonna be cobweb from Midsummer night's dream at tomorrow's shaklespearean ball. we're even getting a taxi home, how very glamourous. we'll get all dolled up and go dancing. like the princesses.I have stuck to my eating plan today, no binges! I'm pleased. first time in a long long while. They have opened a restaurant for anorexics in berlin. is it just me or does that sound like a stupid idea?maybe I should make some new year's resolutions. hmm, might come back to thisI will be more spontaneous, braver, healthier, stronger, more loving, more caring, more aliveWho should I vote for?Your expected outcome:Liberal DemocratYour actual outcome: Labour 8Conservative -36 Liberal Democrat 60 UK Independence Party 4 Green 45You should vote: Liberal DemocratThe LibDems take a strong stand against tax cuts and a strong one in favour of public services: they would make long-term residential care for the elderly free across the UK, and scrap university tuition fees. They are in favour of a ban on smoking in public places, but would relax laws on cannabis. They propose to change vehicle taxation to be based on usage rather than ownership.Take the test at Who Should You Vote Forhow helpful!