caloo caley

ouch, i have a sore throat. My mum is back and terribly yet lagged. My brother and I have just spent the last hour trying to force her out of bed. I feel bad, a bed is a safe and comfy place to be.My teeth are fine, the only damage appears to be from me brushing them too hard! oh, how stupid! I thought I was doing them a favour. I drank champayne out of a teacup yesterday. Tastes better that way. Have been asked to take part in some psychological research. i will, it isn't a commitment and I spose I owe it. its about my birth month and diagnosises. apparently spring is a bad time for it. I reccon premature births have some role, maybe thats a research topic for me in time. all i have to do is tell them mine and my brother's birth dates. i was 2 months early, him 3. we shouldn't have survived, especially not him. we should have unformed organs, holes in our hearts. we should be brain damaged and weak. but we turned out 'fine'. think we're off to the cinema. can't be fucked with revision. wanna see the machinist. anyone seen it? looks spooky, momento-esque. or maria full of grace. my ebay shoes arrived in the post. they're lemon yellow and very high. when shall I ever wear them?later....good lord, my mum has turned into the psycho bitch from hell. I want to run out of the house and eat an entire chocolate birthday cake and drink a whole bottle of wine. but I have wet hair and I'd catch a chill. She makes me feel to ashamed, I know its probably a bad mood caused by the jet lag, but it really makes me feel horrible. I started crying, which probably just annoyed her. i've been crying a lot less recently. ugh, must take her out to calm her down, hopefully a film or something. save me now.

like a plate tectonic

my mum's getting home in half an hour! then we're going to the dentist. my dentist is lovely, a dedicated nhs one who can keep my secrets and not patronise me. she just works so hard, i think she's fabulous.gawd, I hope my teeth are ok. Guess what, yesterday i had sauages and icecream for dinner. and enjoyed it. oh, life is good.My dad's back to work, I got up with my brother and we watched music tv and ate breakfast, I am getting along well. we were chatting bout reading. he says I can't get completely wasted at reading because I have to stop him from doing it.to hell I can't.I dreamt I attacked my brother, I lunged to bite him and got a big mouthful of pillow. I dremat i went to uni again. Durham i think. went with OC's summer, looking lovely. We all made a circle in a room and smoked weed with mushrooms. we'rre doing some serious chemistry she laughed. bring on uni. am meeting up with some old junior school friends, I initiated! go me, sociability. this is all so new. what a lovely day, the sun is warming my back. maybe check in later, am going on a pub crawl!

rock the vote 05-05-05

yippee, all the campaigning, the martyrs, the fights, the chaining to the railings all pays off next month because I get to vote. I am probably not the kind of person the government gets really excited about voting, way to emotional, liable to vote on a whim for the best looking party. no, its not true. here is my specification:pay less for education-I don't want lots of debtpay the nhs more- because they're so good to me, and friendly. give them what they deservepay me more - and all my young unqualified kinno war - waste of money and effortup the environment - its our funeral if the sky clouds over and the polar caps meltnot so bothered about taxes, I figure they go to a good cause and I don't really pay much so doesn't affect melook after all the elderly, make transport better! more night buses!!! faster trains, it takes way too longI don't mind paying more taxes if we can get those thingsI really should do some work. I'm so much less concerned this year. my brother asked me how I managed with gcses. hmm...got very upset, incredibly stressed to almost the point of breakdown and forced myself to study constantly? and it worked. at a price.I'll work in 15 minutes, when I'm finished here.I made a mental list of the 10 people I love the most yesterdat. My cat didn't make the list unfortunately. He was being really friendly and cosy, which got me worried. last time he started acting nice he turned out to be ill. I'm pleased with my list, they're the people I would drag with all my might out of a burning building. sorry kipper, I'll get you if I can get the 10 out first. I am still enjoying my new found understanding. now I only have friends that make me feel good about myself. no seriously. they laugh at my stupid little stories, compliment my outfits, dance with me and hug 'just because'. little old man with pipe says I've never had it so good. Kitten even wrote me a poem. I'm so lucky. Ana says it can't last. I say fuck you. Might be going out for a drink tonight. always good. still reading the secret history. will finish it eventually....